Talking about J-Hope's new album!!

                                  💙  Talking about J-Hope's new album! Blog episode by: Brandee Darden! Wednesday, August 3rd, 2022!! 💖

Intro to my blog! 

Hey my Blogger Dreamers! Welcome back to a new blog episode! It's your girl aka the blogger queen, Brandee here! How's my fandom doing today? I hope everyone is doing fine and well! If you are not doing fine and well, that's okay! Everything will be okay! Just take a deep breath and take everything slow! Everything will be fine! Before I jump into today's blog episode, I am going to talk about Monday's blog episode! On Monday, I talked about How to get over a breakup? Getting over a breakup can be very challenging because you are trying to get over the person who broke up with you whether it be your now ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, or even your now ex best friend! Oh! That hurts so much because when your now ex best friend stopped talking to you, that hurts so much because they stopped completely talking to you and they completely ignore you when you have done nothing but been there for them and they treat you like trash! Either way, it hurt both ways and it sucks! If any of my Blogger Dreamers are getting over a break up, here is my advice for y'all: Just know that your tears aren't worth for that man or woman or even your ex best friend! You are much better than them and know your worth because you are an amazing person and I love you for who you are!! Don't change for who you are because the person who you are is amazing! Know your worth!! Now, for today's blog episode, I will be talking about J-Hope's new album! I will be talking about when  J-Hope's album "Jack In The Box" came out, how did I feel? Why did I feel a certain way? When I saw the concept photos, what were my theories on those photos? Why did I have theories on those photos? If I could pick my favorite songs on the album, which songs are my favorite? Why did I pick those songs as my favorite? If I could pick a song from the album to describe my attitude, which song or songs would I pick my describe my attitude? Why would I pick that songs to describe my attitude? Now, without no further a do, let's get started with a new blog episode! Shall we? We shall!! 

Talking about the songs!! When I listen to each song from the album, how do I feel when I listen to the songs? Why did I feel this way? 

BTS J-Hope new album "Jack In The Box" came out for us, it came out on July 14th, 2022 and in different countries, it came out on July 15th, 2022! It has 10 songs on the album which are Intro, Pandora's box, MORE, STOP, EQUAL SIGN, Music Box: Reflection, What If, Safety Zone, Future, and last but not least, Arson. When I listen to each song from the album, how do I feel when I listen to the songs? When I listen to each song, there is a ton of feelings that come to me! For example, when I listen to "MORE", I want to bang my head because it has such a rock punk type of a vibe to it which I love so much!! When I listen "Equal Sign", it has a beat to it which I love so much but when that kind of goes away, it has a soft beat to it which I love so much! That song holds a special place in my heart! All these songs are really good and I honestly think J-Hope did such an amazing job on the album and the songs! I'm so proud of him! With each song, I feel all kind of ways! I felt like banging my head or I felt crying when I listen to "Equal Sign". When I listen to "Safety Zone", I feel like I am in a safe zone! These songs hit different for me and I love each song so much!! Why did I feel this way? The reason why I feel this way with each song is because when I listen to the song "More", it makes me want to bang my head and I also it made feel like I was at a rock concert! When I watch the music video to "Arson", I think of the times where someone told me "you couldn't do this" or "you couldn't do that" and it put a fire in me!! The song "What If", when I listen to that song, I think of a lot of what ifs in my life! What if someone stopped loving me or what if my friends who said they will stay in my life forever, stopped being there for me! In life, there is always a lot of what ifs!! I love this album so much! I love the songs on it and I am so proud of J-Hope and I can't wait to see what he does next!! 

My feelings! Why did I feel a certain way? 

When J-Hope's album "Jack In The Box" came out, how did I feel?  When the album came out, I was so freaking excited! I couldn't wait to listen to the whole album! My first impression of each song was each song was absolutely great and amazing! Each song was so good and I love each song so much! Each song felt different for me and the reason why each song felt different to me is because in the song "More", it felt like a head banger whereas his song "Equal Sign", it was soft and caring song, but overall the album was absolutely amazing and great! I'm so proud of J-Hope! Why did I feel a certain way? The reason why I feel a certain way which was excitement is because I was excited when the album came out and not just his album, I was also excited for his music video to "Arson" which is so good! He did so amazing on the music for "Arson" and "more". I loved both of them so much! Hobi did so amazing! I'm so incredibly of J-Hope and I am looking forward what he does next in his solo career and with BTS as well! I love him so much and I think this album is so amazing!! 

My theories/ Why did I have theories on those photos?  

When I saw the concept photos, what were my theories on those photos? First of all, when I saw the concept photos, I about freak out! I wanted to scream so bad! Some of his photos were giving me scary movie vibes such as when he was standing in the hallway with the light behind him! When I saw that photo, I was scared! With some of those photos, there was a certain photo that stood out to me which was a photo with J-Hope with some other people who looked to appear "burnt". Now, here is my theories on this! Y'all ready!! What I was thinking was what if he decided to burn those people in the building and his intention was to be the the worst boss to his colleagues? What if he did that on purpose? After he burned the building, he came out and he was actually burned himself! Just think about it for a moment because in his music video "Arson", his outfit was actually "burnt"as well. Just a thought of mine!! Why did I have theories on those photos? The reason why I had theories on those photos because if you look on the top photo, there is a person behind J-Hope and he looked "burnt", so it made my wheels turned and spinning and thinking "what if he left the building while burning the building in the process and he also got burned as well"? That's my thoughts and theories about the photos! Just saying!! 

My favorite songs from the album/ Why did I pick those songs as my favorite? 

If I could pick my favorite songs on the album, which songs are my favorite? I chose three songs that are my favorite from this album which are "More", "What if", and "Safety Zone". The first song that I chose as my favorite is "More". When I listen to that song, I want to bang my head because it is such a head banger and I love that so much! I actually love the outfits in the music video so much! My second favorite song is "What if". We go through a lot of what ifs in our lives and there is a line where J-Hope repeats "What ifs" a lot and after that, he says after each what ifs and he says on one of them, he said "What if, what if, what if. 

What if I have no hope". He also said that about no dreams, no passion, and no vision and it would stink if you didn't have no hope, no passion, or no vision! If you are not passionate about that one thing, then move on to the next thing that you are passionate about! If you don't see yourself doing that thing, then find yourself that you do see yourself doing! If don't have dreams, that's okay! It's okay to not have dreams! The final song that I chose as my favorite is "Safety Zone". When I think about the song "Safety Zone", I think of a couple of things well, three things which are BTS, my blogging area, and my bed room! Those are my safety zones! I feel safe when I listen to BTS songs! When I am sitting at my blogging area, I feel safe and calm! My heart is happy! When I am in my bed room, I feel safe because I feel happy to look at my BTS posters and the pictures on my ceiling!! My room is basically my "safety zone". Why did I pick those songs as my favorite? The reason why I pick these songs as my favorite is because I love listening to them and when I listen to them, I feel happy and I feel safe! Plus, I can bang my head in peace!! 

Songs that describe my attitude/ Why would I pick that song or songs to describe my attitude? 

If I could pick a song from the album to describe my attitude, which songs would I pick to describe my attitude? The first song that I would choose to describe my attitude is "Equal Sign". With that song, this song reminds me to always spread positivity around no matter what! With my attitude, I can be very positive and never negative! There is a line in the song and it goes like this "Hate'll paralyze your mind. 

Gotta see the other side.

It costs ya nothin' to be kind 

Not so different you and I 

Lookin' for love in a different light 

Until we find that equal sign". This line hits me so much because I am all about spreading positivity and being kind to one another and hate can paralyze your mind because what people say about you or what other people say about other people can hurt their feelings and that's not good at all! So with that being said, spread positivity wherever you go! Don't spread hate! The second and final song that I chose to represent my attitude is "Arson". When I listen to "Arson", I automatically think of fire! When people doubt me or don't have trust in me, it lights some fire in me and I will show them that I can do this or do that or "I will show you who you are dealing with" mindset!! Why would I pick that song or songs to describe my attitude? The reason why I would pick those songs to describe my attitude is because I am all about spreading love and I am all about if someone comes up to me and say to me "you don't have passion", I will burn with fire and I will show them that I am burning with fire! Don't come for me and say "I can't do anything" because I will show them that I can! Just watch me burn the place! 

In conclusion/ Tip of the day/ Question of the day??

In conclusion, J-Hope killed this album and the songs as well! I'm so proud of him! Being an OT7 Stan, I don't just like one BTS member, but I love all of the members equally the same! They all have made me proud and I love them so much! They all captured my hearts forever! What I love about them is all of them except Min Yoongi showed up to J-Hope's party and I thought it was so sweet! Min Yoongi didn't go because he had a fever and he didn't want to risk anything or get anyone sick which I thought was nice of Min Yoongi! I love this album so much! The song that really sticks out to me is "Equal Sign" and I will continue to love that song no matter what! Here is my tip and question of the day?! My tip of the day is spread positivity no matter wherever you go because you spreading your positive vibes to someone who might need it will help someone in the long run! Always spread love, not hate! My question of the day is if you saw your favorite celebrity concept photos or even their music video, what would your theories behind those concept photos or music video? Why would you have theories behind it?? Sound off in the comments down below and let me know!! Please! Thank you so much! I love y'all! 

Alright, my Blogger Dreamers!! Y'all have reached the end of today's blog episode! I hope everyone enjoyed this blog episode for today! Please, don't forget to spread joy and happiness to anyone who needs it! It might make that person or people happy! For me, spreading joy and happiness makes me happy because I love seeing people happy! That is what matters to me! I don't like spreading hate! I can't do that! That's hard for me! Seeing people happy makes it all worth it!! For today's bible verse, it goes a little like this "You've got someone standing beside you that's stronger than the one standing against you". -Joshua 1:5. I love this bible verse because you have someone who is with you at all times and that is God! You also have someone who is against you and that is the devil! Don't let the devil win! You have people who love you and supportive towards you! To the Blogger Dreamer who is reading is, you are amazing and don't forget that! I hope everyone will have a good Wednesday or in other countries, a good Thursday! Don't forget our slogan: "Dream Big! Don't give up on your dreams"! I love y'all and stay safe and stay hydrated! I will see y'all on Friday where I will be talking about me and my best friend, Djarno for our 2 year friendship anniversary! I love y'all and this blogger queen is out! Peace! ✌💙💜

Bible verse of the day! I love this so much!! 

The album cover to J-Hope's album "Jack In The Box". Love this cover so much! I love the outfit as well! 

J-Hope with what looks like "burn victims" as his band mates!! Also, this stare is killing me!! Ugh!! 

Some of his concept photos from "More" and "Arson". I love these pictures so much! He looks so good!! 

My favorite songs by J-Hope! I love these songs so much!! 

The songs that describe my attitude! I also love these songs as well!! 

How to get over a breakup?? Blog by: Brandee Darden!

                                 💔How to get over a breakup? Blog episode by: Brandee Darden! 💔 

Intro to my blog!! 

Hey, my Blogger Dreamers!! It's your girl aka your blogger queen, Brandee here and guess what day it is? If you guess it is blog day, you guessed right! Happy Blog Monday! I'm so glad to have y'all on a new blog episode! Happy Monday or in other countries, Happy Tuesday! Happy 1st day of August or in other countries, Happy the 2nd day of August! How's my fandom doing today? I hope everyone is doing well and amazing! If not, that's okay! Everything will be okay! I hope everyone had a good week and a good weekend and I hope everyone will have a great week ahead! Before I jump into today's blog and this week's blog topics, let's talk about last week's blog topics! On Monday, I talked about my book so far! When I talk about my book, I get so excited because it means a lot to me! Writing this book and talking about what I have went through means a lot to me!! On Wednesday, I talked about the places that I want to travel in the future! There is so many places that I want to see and visit one day and one of those places is South Korea! I would love to visit there and potentially sell my book there! I would love to do that in the future!! Another place that I would love to go to the Netherlands! Why the Netherlands, y'all may ask? Well, you see; I have two special friends who have been there for me since I could remember and I would love to visit them one day!! On Friday, I talked about my poem "Stay Gold". When I think the word "stay gold" or the word "gold" in general, I think about the song "Stay Gold" by BTS or stars or gold glitter! If you think about, a person who is the Olympics, they either get a gold, silver, or bronze medal! Right? Right! Well, to them, they are a star and everyone else is a star as well! For this week's blogs episodes, I will be talking about how to get over a breakup, J-Hope's new album, and lastly but not the least, me and my good friend, Djarno's 2 year friendship anniversary! Without no further a do, let's get started! Shall we? We shall!! 

Talking about today's blog episode! Why do I think this topic is important to talk about? What is the song of the week? Why did I choose this song for the week? 

For today's blog episode, I will be talking about how to get over a breakup? by yours truly, Brandee Darden! I will be talking about when someone breaks up with you over a text message or even face to face, hoe it make you feel or in my case, how does it make me feel? Why does it make me feel this way? Do I think cheating is right? Yes or no? Why or why not do not do I think that cheating is right? If I could give advice about how to get over a breakup, what would my advice be? Why would I give that advice? Why do I think this topic is important to talk about? I think this topic is important to talk about is because getting over a breakup rather it's with a friend or even a boyfriend or girlfriend is extremely hard! I have went through 4 relationships and it was hard to handle each breakup especially my first relationship! What is the song of the week? The song that I chose for the week is "Burn It" by Agust D ft Max! I love this song so much! It reminds me when you see yourself in the mirror but you don't recognize it is you because it is someone completely different and you want to burn the ashes!! Why did I choose this song for the week? The reason why I chose this song for the week is because it is such a good song! With Max's vocals and Agust D aka Min Yoongi's rap, it makes a perfect pairing, in my opinion!! 

Talking about my dating experiences! Which breakup was the hardest for me?? Why was that breakup hard for me?

My dating experiences weren't the best but they weren't the worst! I mean, I had some good boyfriends! I don't even talk to my ex's anymore except for one! I had two who had cheated on me, one who fell out of love with me, and I fell out of love with him! The two who had cheated on me broke my heart! Literally! It felt like someone stabbed me in the chest with a knife and left me for dead! It hurt so bad! My first ex boyfriend fell out of love with me and it hurt so bad! I also ended up falling out of love with my third ex boyfriend! Which breakup was the hardest for me? If I had to pick which breakup was the hardest for me, it would had to be with my first ex boyfriend and my 4th ex boyfriend which he is still trying to get back with me! Why was that breakup hard for me? The reason why those breakups hard for me is because with my first ex-boyfriend, it was my first love and I loved him a lot and it broke my heart when he broke up with me! With my fourth ex boyfriend, we talked about our future together and not only that, I was supportive towards him but after he cheated on me, I decided to move on from him and my first ex boyfriend! 

My feeling/ Why does it make me feel this way? 

When someone breaks up with you over a text message or even face to face, how does it you feel or in my case, how does it make me feel? In my opinion, the worst way to get broken up with someone is over text message! That is the wrong move and it is horrible! I had that happened to me before and it sucked! It made me feel really sad and heartbroken! For me, I'm that type person who wants to talk about face to face and resolve any issues that we might have type of a person! I rather break up face to face than over text message but it didn't happened that way for me! All three happened over text message and I ended up breaking up with my third ex boyfriend over text message as well which was the wrong move for me! For me looking back on it, I have realized that I shouldn't done it in the first place! I shouldn't done it in the beginning but it is done and over with and I moved on from all relationships!! Why does it make me feel this way? The reason why it made me feel this way is because when get broken up over text message or even face to face, it hurts so much! It hurts you to the point you feel like you can't move on from that person because you love them! At some point, you are going to have to move on from that person and you have to focus on you and only you or if you have kids involve, you need to focus on your kids as well! 

Cheating!! Yes or no? Why or why not do I think that cheating is right? 

Do I think cheating is right? Yes or no? I think cheating is not right! I think it is wrong and disrespectful! When I think about the word "Cheating", I think about like cheating on a test! When you cheat on your boyfriend/ girlfriend or husband/ wife, it is showing that you can't be loyal or that someone can't trust you! Trust to me is a big thing in relationships and the only reason why I said that is because if you don't have trust in your relationship, then how you are going to trust the other person? You can't unless you have trust and open communication and y'all talk about it!! Communication is big in not just relationships but also friendships as well! If you don't talk to your friend about what's going on, how are they going to help you? They can't help you if you don't talk to them! Cheating is wrong and you should never cheat on a person! If you are unhappy in a relationship, then get out of that relationship! Why or why not do I think that cheating is right? I think cheating is not right because you are being disloyal to someone who you love a lot and if you have kids, you are showing them what a relationship looks like and it is so wrong! No kid should ever have to see their mom or even their dad getting cheated on! It is totally disrespectful and wrong on so many levels!! Don't cheat on someone!! 

My advice! Why would I give that advice? 

If I could give advice about how to get over a breakup, what would my advice be? If I could give advice about how to get over a breakup, my only advice would be take it day by day! Take it slow! Breakups are the hardest things to ever go through and they are hard to get over so quickly and so fast! When someone you love or you thought that person loved you, it hurts you to know that they don't love you anymore and that stinks so much! Just know if anyone out there is going through a breakup, just know that you are not alone and I'm here for you if anyone needs anything! Just take it a day at a time! Everything will be okay! Also, if a friend breakups with you, it can hurt as well as a breakup with a girlfriend or boyfriend as well! When those friends stop talking to you and they don't need you, it hurts for a while! Why would I give that advice? The reason why I would give that advice is because breakups are hard to move on and forget but you don't need to let it bring you down or as a matter of fact, let that person down because you are much better than that! You are loved by everyone in this world and you are so strong that I believe y'all got this! Everyone is so amazing in their own way and don't y'all ever forget that!! No guy or girl should ever bring you down! EVER!!! Don't let anyone bring you down!! When a friend brings you down, it hurts or when they stopped talking to you, it also hurts as well! Don't trust people who you think you can't trust! 

In conclusion/ Tip of the day!! 

In conclusion, getting over a breakup is a difficult thing to get over! You have to process everything what has happened in your head and not only that, you have to understand why did this person did you like this? It is hard to get over what a person has done to you because they hurt you a lot and they put you through a lot as well and it is very hurtful! Not only it is hurtful for you, but it is hurtful for your family as well because your family is seeing you hurting and it hurts them to see you the way you are! Breakups can hurt a person and trying to get over it is the hardest thing ever and you should never have to go through this alone! My tip of the day is, if you are going through a breakup, just know that you are loved and you always be loved no matter what! For my ladies out there, if you are struggling to move on from a guy or a girl, you are much better without him or her! He or she doesn't deserve your tears and you better catch your crown because it is falling!! You are a queen and you don't need a man or woman to make you happy! For my guys out there, if a girl or a guy breaks your heart, chances are that you don't need them either! You are much better without them and you deserve to be happy!! Don't cry over someone who isn't worth your tears or time!! Also, friends can break your heart to so you might want to be careful who are your real friends are! Just saying!! 

Alright, my Blogger Dreamers! Y'all have reached the end of today's blog episode! I hope y'all enjoyed today's blog and if you are having trouble moving from your past relationship, it's okay! It takes time and everything will be okay! Take it a day at a time! For today's bible verse, it goes something like this: "People Look At The Outward Appearance, But The Lord Looks At The Heart." -1 Samuel 16:7. I love this bible verse a lot because everyone cares about the looks and stuff like that whereas, the Lord cares about how good of a heart everyone has! In my opinion, looks aren't everything! If you treat me well, love me for who I am, and is there for me when I needed you the most, then we are good! That's it! Looks aren't everything to me! Knowing you have a good heart will mean a lot to me! I hope everyone will have or had a good day, wherever y'all maybe be at in this world! Please, stay safe and always remember my slogan:"Dream Big! Don't give up on your dreams"! I love y'all and I will see y'all on Wednesday where I will be talking about J-Hope's album called "Jack In The Box". I love y'all and have a good Monday or Tuesday, wherever y'all maybe be at! This blogger queen is out! Peace! 💜✌

"Cheating 
is the most disgusting, hurtful, 
and disrespectful thing you could 
do to someone you say you love."
-Unknown. I love this because all of this is so true! How can you love someone when you are going to cheat on them? How? That is rude and disrespectful! 

For this week's song of the week, I choose this song called "Burn it" by Agust D aka Min Yoongi or Suga from BTS ft Max! This song is so good and so amazing because when you look at yourself in the mirror, you don't recognize it is you and all your ashes are burning!! 

 Bible verse of the day! I love this bible verse so much!! Such a good bible verse!

"You know 
you really love 
someone 
when you can't 
hate them 
for breaking 
your heart."
-Unknown! I love this quote because when someone breaks your heart, you can't hate them for it and it stinks! You want to hate them for them but you can't!! 

"Friends Can Break Your 
Heart Too". 
-Unknown! I love this quote because it is true! Your so called "friends" can break your heart and it doesn't feel good at all! 



 

Analyzing my poem "Fighting through the pain". By: Brandee Marie Darden.

                                    Analyzing my poem "Fighting through the pain". Blog and poem by: Brandee Marie Darden. Friday, July 15th, 2022! 

Intro to my blog! 

Hello, my Blogger Dreamers! Welcome to a new blog episode! It's your girl aka your Blogger Queen, Brandee here and Happy Friday or in other countries, Happy Saturday! How's my fandom doing today? I hope everyone is doing well and amazing! If not, that's okay! Everything will be okay! I always ask y'all how my fandom is doing but I never give y'all an update on how I am doing? Well, to be honest with my fandom, I'm not doing so hot but that's okay! Everything will be okay with me! Don't worry about me, my Blogger Dreamers! I'm going to be okay! I just have to get through what I'm going through! That's all! With that being said, I am going to talk about Wednesday's blog! On Wednesday, I talked about the word "Friendship". When I think about the word "friendship" or the word "friends", I think about the people who have been there for you through your hardest times and good times, the highest and the lowest! Those friends who treat you like family! I have a couple of friends who treat me like their sister and honestly, it feels really nice because it shows how much they care about and worry about you! For today's blog episode, I will be talking or analyzing my poem called "Fighting through the pain" by: Brandee Marie Darden. I will be talking about what is this poem about? Why did I write this poem about? When I was writing this poem, what was going through my mind? Why was that stuff going through my mind? If I have any advice about getting through the pain, what is my advice? Why would I give that advice to my Blogger Dreamers?? Now, let's get this blog episode started! Shall we? We shall!! 

Talking about my poem! What kind of things did I went through that caused me pain? Why did those things caused me pain? 

For today, I will be talking about my poem called "Fighting through the pain" by me! It goes something like this: "Fighting through the pain" by Brandee Marie Darden. 

"Fighting 

through the 

pain can be 

difficult at times! 

Whatever you are 

going through, 

you are strong! 

You got this! 

Just know 

that you 

should always 

love yourself 

no matter 

what! Stay 

strong! You 

got this! 

You're a 

fighter! 

-Love, 

Brandee 

Darden. Written on Sunday, April 3rd, 2022! This poem has a special meaning to it! We all go through pain or there are things that might caused you some pain but those things that caused you pain, made you strong! What kind of things did I went through that caused me pain? The things that caused me pain is talking bad about myself, when I got bullied, and seeing my family or friends crying! Why did those things caused me pain? The reason why the first thing caused me pain which is talking bad about myself is because when I talk bad about myself, it hurts me so much that is causes me a lot of pain and I wish I didn't! The second thing that caused me pain is when I got bullied! When I went through school, I got bullied face to face, behind my back, and online as well and honestly that hurt! Why did it hurt y'all may ask? Because I didn't stand up for myself and that hurt so much! If I had to back in time, I would stand up for myself! The third and final thing that caused me pain is seeing my family or friends cry! When I see my family or friends cry, I want to cry as well because my heart hurts for them! I care about them so much to the point where if they are in pain, I'm in pain as well! I love my friends and family as much they love me! I am protective of my family and friends! 

The meaning of my poem/ Why did I write this poem about? 

What is this poem about? This poem is all about everyone goes through pain! Everyone struggles through a lot but just know that everyone is a fighter! You can get through anything! You are loved and you are a fighter! Don't give up! Yes, everyone has battles that they go and sometimes, those battles are very difficult, but you have to get yourself together and realize that you can do this and that you are much stronger than that! We go through things that God put in our way but we are strong and we got this! We are strong people that whatever we do, we got this! We can't give up because live is so hard but we need to keep pushing through and remind ourselves that "We are fighters! We can't give up". Why did I write this poem about? The reason why I wrote this poem about is because sometimes, we get into our heads way too much and we think to ourselves "I can't do this. This is way too hard! Why me"? Whatever you are going through, just know that you are never alone and that you should never give up! Life is hard but you are way too strong for this and whatever you are going through, you are never alone! Don't quit because life is hard! Keep pushing through the pain and keep fighting through! You got this! I believe in my Blogger Dreamers! There are times where I wanted to give up on life but I realized, I can't because I have people who need to depend on me and I can't leave them! You can't leave those people because those people are your friends and your family! You are loved and for me, I can't leave behind my family, friends, or my great nieces and my great nephews! I love those babies so much! 

Things going through my mind! Why was that stuff going through my mind? 

When I was writing this poem, what was going through my mind? When I was writing this poem, there was a lot of things that were going through my mind! Some of the stuff that was going through my brain was things that I tell myself sometimes on a daily basis! I tell myself that "I'm never good enough" which hurts me to the core! When I tell myself sometimes that "I'm never good enough", it hurts me because I know that I am good enough but I get into my brain and I believe what I said but I need to! Another thing that was going through my mind was just remembering the stuff that brought me pain but also realizing that I'm much stronger than this and I don''t need to let those things bother me and I don't let those things bring me down! Why was that stuff going through my mind? The reason why those stuff going through my head is because I know that I am much stronger than I know but there are times where I feel weak but I need to get through my head that "I am amazing and I don't need to let those things bring me down" because if I let those things bring me down, then I'm not strong and I am going to let those things bother me! I need to realize my self worth and that those things that I said about myself is stupid and I don't need to listen to those things in my head! They are just stupid things and there are not necessary voices that I don't need to listen to those voices! Those voices are stupid!! 

My advice/ Why would I give that advice to my Blogger Dreamers??

If I have any advice about getting through the pain, what is my advice? If I have any advice about getting through the pain, my advice is you are going to go through physical pain, emotional pain, and mental pain but you need to realize that you are much stronger than that! There are things that you are feeling in your heart, but you need to know that you are an amazing person and that you need to live your life without bringing yourself down! You need to ignore those voices in your head because those voices are not worth listening to! Never let those voices bring you down! You are going to get through  whatever you are going through! Life is an amazing thing and yes, you are going to go through things that hurt you but those things that you are going through will definitely make you stronger! Why would I give that advice to my Blogger Dreamers? The reason why I would give that advice to my Blogger Dreamers is because those voices that are in your head will bring you down but those voices can hurt you but you need to realize that you are the strongest person ever and that you are loved by so many people around you! Never give up on life and never give up on yourself either! You are the only person that doesn't need to give up on themselves! You might have people who will give up on you but the only person that you don't need to give up is yourself and that's it! Never give up on yourself! EVER!!! 

In conclusion/ Tip of the day/ Question of the day??

In conclusion, you are going to go through pain in life but you need fight through it because that pain that caused you to feel like the way you are feeling will make you stronger than before! When I have these voices in my head and they are telling me that "I'm not good enough or I will never be good enough", I need to realize that those things that I'm telling myself is so stupid and dumb that I know that I am good enough and that I'm loved by everyone around and there is no doubt about that! I need to live my life and make myself happy instead of worrying about these voices in my head because they are not worth it! Here is my tip and question of the day?! My tip of the day is always love yourself for who you are because you are so strong for dealing with the pain and the pain that you were put through made you way stronger than before and that makes you a fighter! Never give up! My question of the day is what are something's that put you through pain but made you way stronger than before? Why did those things made you stronger than before? Sound off in the comments down below and let me know! Please! I love y'all so much!! 

Alright, my Blogger Dreamers! Before I end this blog episode for today, today makes a year and two months since I started blogging! Wow! To me, a year and two months makes a long time but I'm over the moon right now! I honestly don't know where I would be without my Blogger Dreamers, my friends, or my family! Y'all mean everything to me! Thank you so much for supporting me and being on my blogging journey with me! I love y'all so much! Thank you! With that being said, thank you so much for joining me on this blog episode! Y'all have reached the end of today's blog episode! I hope everyone enjoyed this blog episode for today! For today's quote of the day, it goes like this: "You're not selfish for wanting to be treated well". -Jason Momoa. I love this quote because it is not selfish for not wanting to get treated well! I feel like every person deserves to be treated well and every of my Blogger Dreamers deserve to be treated well! I love y'all so much and never forget my slogan: "Dream Big! Don't give up on your dreams" because the sky is the limit! I love y'all so much and I will see y'all on Monday on my Makeup/ fashion blog page! I love y'all and please stay safe! Have a safe weekend and see y'all on Monday! Your Blogger Queen is out! Peace! ✌💖💜

The quote of the day!! I love this quote so much!! 

My poem about "Fighting through the pain". You are going to go through challenges where you want to give up, but you can't because you have people who will support you forever and love you forever as well! You can fight through the pain!! 

"Healing is more about 
accepting the pain and 
finding a way to peacefully 
co-exist with it. In the sea 
of life, pain is a tide that 
will ebb and weave, 
continually. We need to 
learn how to let it wash 
over us, without drowning 
in it. Our life doesn't have 
to end where the pain 
begins, but rather, it is 
where we start to mend."
-Jaeda DeWalt. I love this quote so much because life be can full of ups and downs and some of those things can be a healing process because you went through a lot and you can't give up! 

"I'm not lazy. 
I'm just exhausted from 
fighting my way through 
every single day."
-Mimi Love. I love this quote because I'm not lazy, I am just tired of fighting through my sadness everyday but I can't give up because my life is worth fighting for! 

To the end the blog episode, I will love to end it with the song of the week which is "For Youth" by BTS! I love this song because it is such a good song and it is so beautiful! I love it! 

The word "Friendship". Blog episode by: Brandee Marie Darden!

                                     The word "Friendship" blog episode by Brandee Marie Darden. Wednesday, July 13th, 2022! 

Intro to my blog!

Hello, my Blogger Dreamers! It's your girl aka the blogger queen, Brandee here and welcome back to a new blog episode for today! How's my fandom doing today? I hope everyone is doing well and amazing! If not, that's okay! Everything will be okay! Take a deep breathe and stay calm! Everything will be okay! Stay calm and never give up! Happy Wednesday or in other countries, Happy Thursday! Before I jump into today's blog episode, let's talk about Monday's blog! On Monday, I talked about the word "grief". When I think about the word "grief", I think about grieving over a loved one or a friendship or a relationship that is completely over because y'all didn't last long and y'all couldn't make it work! Sometimes, relationships can't last because you can't trust one another or your partner cheated on you! That's okay because you shouldn't be grieving over something like that you don't deserve someone like that! You deserve love not get cheated on! When you grieve over a family member, it hurts because you loved them so much that you miss them so deeply! Always remember the memories that you had with that family member! On today's blog episode, I will be talking about the word "Friendship". I will be talking about when I think about the word "friendship" or even the word "friends", what comes to my mind? Why does things come to my mind? What kind of qualities do I look in a friend or even in a friendship? Why do I look for those qualities in a friend? What is the significance behind the qualities that I look within a friend or even a friendship? Why is it so significant? Now. let's get started! Shall we? We shall! 

When I talk about my friends or the friendships that I have with my friends, how does it make me feel? Why does it make me feel this way? 

When I talk about my friends or the friendships that I have with my friends, how does it make me feel? Honestly, it makes me feel really good to know that I have friends or even friendships that will last a long time! I have friends who treat me like their sister or who is very protective over me! I feel like two of my guy friends are really over protective of me! I mean, it feels good to have friends who can be over protective of me! It makes me feel really good and happy all at the same time! Why does it make me feel this way? The reason why it makes me feel this way is because you have friends who will look out for you and they will do anything to make sure that you are doing okay or to ask you "Have you eaten"? Yes, I had a friend who asked me "have you eaten today"? My answer to her is always "yes, I have eaten". To know that I have friends who treat me as there older sister feels really good and happy because I have people who look up to me as their older sister and I feel happy about it! I will always make sure that my friends are okay and make sure they are safe! I'm very protective of my friends who are like family to me! I have a special place in my heart for my friends and I don't want my friends to get hurt and go through anything by themselves because if you have a problem, then it is my problem as well! If you have a problem or problems, then your problem or problems are also my problems as well! 

What comes to my mind? Why does it come to my mind? 

When I think about the word "friendship" or even the word "friends", what comes to mind? When I think about the word "friendship" or even the word "friends", I think of people who are going to make impact in your life and stick by your side until forever or people who are going to leave you and never talk to you again! After I graduated high school, the people who I was friends with stopped talking to me except 3 of them! I lost connect with one of them for a while but we remain connect after that which I am so glad! When I think about the word "friendship" or "friends", I think about when some of your friends actually become family which is a good feeling and I say that because when those friends care about you like family, it means a lot to you! If those friends treat you like family, keep those friends because they are worth to keep forever in your life! Why does it come to my mind? The reason why it come to my mind is because when those friends treat you like family, it honestly makes you feel good! It shows that they care for you like family and they completely understand you which is the best feeling in the world! When I lost contact with my so called "friends" after high school, it hurt so much but after a while, I realized that I don't need those people anymore and I'm okay with the people who actually do care about me and who do understand me more than anything and also, I rather have friends who treats me like family than not family at all! You loose some friends and you also gain friends as well! If you loose some friends, that's okay because those friends who stood by your side the most, are the main people who you need the most and they will care about you through your hardest moments in your life time so with that being said, don't loose those friends because they matter and it is hard to find some new friends to replace! Just saying! 

The qualities of a friend/ Why do I look for those qualities in a friend? 

What kind of qualities do I look in a friend or even in a friendship? When I think about the qualities that I look in a friend, with other people, they might say "the qualities that I look in a friend is I want them to be nice" but with me, the qualities that I look for in a friend is trust, being supportive, and giving out comments out like "I'm so proud of you" and stuff like that! When I think about the word "trust", I think about trusting people with my whole heart! I feel like when it comes to a friendship or even a relationship, I think trust is the main thing because if you don't have that trust in a friendship or even a relationship, then you don't need to have a friend who isn't trustworthy or be in a relationship where it is based on trust! The second quality that I look friend is being supportive! When I think about that, I think about supporting each other whether it is there interest or even helping through a hard time! When I have a friend who I can count on the most, I want them to know that I will always support them no matter what because I want them to know that my support means a lot and I want to show them that I care about them! The third and final quality that I look in a friendship is giving out comments like "I'm so proud of you". When I hear comments from a friend of mine like "I am so proud of you, you're strong, or you got this", to be honest, it makes my heart melt because those comments mean a lot to me or even if they ask me "How are you doing"? I love those little comments! Why do I look for those qualities in a friend? The reason why I look for those in friend is because I feel like trusting a friend is very important because if you don't have trust in a friend, then how are you going to trust that friend? I feel like those qualities are very important to me and I think it is good to have those qualities because it will show how much your friend or friends will mean a lot to you!! 

The significance/ Why is it so significant? 

What is the significance behind the qualities that I look within a friend or even s friendship? The significance behind the first quality which is trust is if you can't trust someone such as your friend, what is the point in trusting someone like your best friend? I feel like trust and communication should be a big part of a friendship and the reason why I say that is because if there is a miscommunication, y'all can fix it which is nice because y'all don't want to end y'all's friendship over something silly? Right? Right! The second quality which is being supportive and the significance behind that is if you support me in what I like or if you are supporting me through a hard time and helping me through my depression or you are just supporting me just to be supportive, then I am going to do the same exact thing! If you show me the same support, then I'm going to do the same thing as well! Being supportive towards my friends to me is so important! I rather be a supportive friend than not a supportive friend! The third and final quality that I look in a friend is giving out comments like "I'm so proud of you" and stuff like that! The significance behind that is when my friends tell me "you're doing your best or your best is good for me or even if they "I am so proud of you", it means a lot to me! When I hear those things, it shows how much they care about me and how much they mean a lot to me! Why is it so significant? The reason why it is so significant is because having trust, someone being supportive, and hearing those comments are very important to me! I rather have support than none at all! I rather have trust in someone than none at all! I rather re read those comments about me than none at all! Those little things mean a lot to me and I love how some of my friends tell me "I'm so proud of you or your doing your best". It means a lot to me!! 

In conclusion/ Tip of the day/ Question of the day?? 

In conclusion, I think having trust in a friend is extremely important because if you don't have trust within them, then how are you going to trust someone when you can't trust them at all? You know what I mean! The way I look at trust is if you don't give me a reason to trust you and you broke my heart, then how you can trust you again? With me, once you broke my trust, good luck fixing it because once you broke my trust, there is no repairing at all! When it comes to a friendship, I will always be there for a friend because I love my friends so much but if my friends are not the same with me, then I don't need you anymore! If you show me the same thing as I show you, then we are good! Good friends are rare to find and you find a good friend, keep them because they can be a thing your life and they can care about you a lot! Here is my tip of the day and question of the day?! Always communicate with your best friend no matter what! Show them that you are willing to listen to them no matter what! Always have open ears and let them express their side of their story, even it is wrong! Still listen to them! My question of the day is what qualities do you look in a friend? Why do you look for qualities in friend? Sound off in the comments down below and let me know! I would love to read y'all's comments!! Please! Thank you so much!! I love y'all!

Alright, my Blogger Dreamers! Y'all have reached the end of today's blog episode! I hope everyone enjoyed this blog episode for today! Always have open communication with friends because it is very important to listen to your friends and be there for your friends no matter what! Always help them through a hard time because they might need you and it is only right to help them! Help those friends who need help and support them no matter what! For today's quote of the day, it goes like this "If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours". -Dolly Parton. I love this quote because if you see your friends not smiling, give them something to smile about! If they are going through a hard time in their life, give them a smile because if they smile, at least you know that you are the reason behind that smile! Always remember my slogan: "Dream big! Don't give up on your dreams"! I hope everyone will have a good Wednesday or in other countries, a good Thursday and please, stay safe and hydrated! I love y'all and I will see y'all on Friday! This blogger queen is out! Peace! 💜✌💟

The quote of the day! I love this quote so much! Such a good quote! 

"Friends come and 
go, like the 
waves of the 
ocean, but the 
true ones stay, 
like an octopus
on your face."
-Anonymous. I love this quote because those friends who you thought you could trust aren't your friends but the ones who stayed by your side, are the true people that you need to keep forever!! 

"A true friend 
accepts who you 
are, but also helps
you become who 
you should be".
-Unknown. I love this quote because you are going to find people who will accept you for who you are but they are going to help you along the way and support you, no matter what! That is a true friend and keep that friend no matter what! 

"Good Friends 
Are Like Stars,
You Don't Always 
See Them 
But You Know
They Are There".
-Unknown. I love this quote so much because at night, stars come out and it is rare to find good friends who are caring and trusting! When you find a good friend or friends, keep those people in your life because you never know when you will find a good friend again!

The word "Grief" by: Brandee Darden.

                                      The word "Grief". Blog by: Brandee Darden! Monday, July 11th, 2022! 

Intro to my blog! 

Hello, my Blogger Dreamers!! Welcome back to a new blog episode! It's your girl aka your blogger queen, Brandee here! I hope everyone had a good week and a good weekend! I hope everyone stayed safe and hydrated! Happy Monday or in other countries, Happy Tuesday! I am so happy to have y'all on a new blog episode! Before I get into this week's blogs and today's blog episode, let's talk about last week's blog episode! On Monday, I talked about reviewing the song "Yet To Come" by BTS! Every time I listen to that song, I want to ball my eyes out and cry because it reminded me that my best is yet to come and I need to have patience! On Wednesday, I talked about the meaning about "Life". Life is so precious because you have to enjoy the moments that we have with everyone around us! The people around us is so important to us because we don't know how much longer with our family or our friends, so make each day count and always remember the days that y'all have with your family and friends! On Friday, I talked about my poem "What kills you make you stronger" by me aka Brandee Darden. The way I can describe my poem is there is a lot of things where can tear us down and want to kill us but the things that kill us, makes way stronger and the way we can get over those things is by moving on from those things and forget those things! If we move on from those things, we will become stronger and we will forget about them! For this week's blogs, I will be talking about the word "Grief", the word "Friendship", and lastly, but not least, analyzing my poem "Fighting through the pain" by Brandee Marie Darden. Now, without further a do, let's get started! Shall we? We shall! 

Talking about today's blog episode! Why did I choose to talk about this blog episode? What song did I choose for the week? Why did I chose this song for the week? 

For today's blog episode, I will be talking about the word "Grief". I will be talking about when I think about the word "grief", what comes to mind? Why it comes to my mind? Everyone handles grief differently but, how do I handle grief? Why do I handle grief the way I handle grief? What are things that I try to do to make myself happy when after I lost a loved one? Why do I do those things? If I could give any advice about loosing a love one or even a pet or even a friend, what is my advice? Why would I give that advice to my Blogger Dreamers? Why did I choose to talk about this blog episode? The reason why I choose to talk about this blog episode is because loosing someone can be a hard and difficult process! It can be hard to handle loosing someone who you love! I will talk about it more in the next paragraph! What song did I choose for the week? The song that I choose for the week is "For Youth" by BTS! Every time I listen to this song, I think about my friends and my Blogger Dreamers! Every time I think about my friends and my Blogger Dreamers, I think about if I didn't meet them, where would I be today? Where I would be right now if I didn't have this amount of supporters? I feel very happy and blessed! Why did I chose this song for the week? The reason why I did chose this song for the week is because this song means everything to me! There is a line that stands out to me and it goes like this "You're my best friend For the rest of my life" and I think about those friends who have stood by my side because those friends are the ones who mean a lot to me and who care about me so much! I love those friends so much and those friends are actually my Blogger Dreamers which I am truly blessed! I feel loved by those friends who became my family! 

Think about the word "grief". Why it comes to my mind? 

When I think about the word, "grief", what comes to mind? When I think about the word "grief", I think getting over a loved one, or a pet, or even a friend who passed away! Another thing I think about the word "grief" is when a friend breaks up a friendship or even your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up y'all's relationship! When you loose a friend, a family member, or even a pet, it hurts you to the core because you were either so close with them and you went from seeing each other everyday to now, not seeing each other everyday because your loved one or a friend or even your pet passed away! I remember when my grandpa, Flex went to be with Jesus and I remember pretty much seeing him every single day but there isn't a moment where I don't think about him! When your friend or boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up your relationship, it hurts you so much and your pretty grieving over the friendship or the relationship because you think it can be saved but chances are it can't be saved because y'all might have problems and that can't be good! Grieving can go two ways and I remember going through both of them and it sucks so bad! Why it comes to my mind? The reason why it comes to my mind both ways because when you loose a loved one, it hurts or even a friend calls off your friendship, it hurts so either way, you are hurting which stinks so much and you can't help but cry because it feels like someone stabbed you in the heart! You felt like you could trust that friend or even your boyfriend or girlfriend but they went behind your back which hurts you so much!

How I handle grief? Why do I handle grief the way I handle grief? 

Everyone handles grief differently but, how do I handle grief? The way I handle grief is I cry! I cry until there is nothing left such as tears! I will feel so numb and my body would hurt because I lost a loved one who I cared about so much or when me and boyfriend of a year broke up! That was a big grief in itself which stinks! When I went through that break up, I was heart broken and my heart was hurting for days and days and months but over time, I realized that I don't need a man to make me happy! Who needs a man when in my case, I got BTS on my mind 24/7? BTS helped me through my breakup and not only my breakup, just everyday life! Grief can be hard to handle because when you loose a loved one, it hurts you so much to the point where you really don't know how to handle but it's okay because you are doing okay and you got this! Why do I handle grief the way I handle grief? The reason why I handle grief the way I handle grief is because I am that type of a person who lets all of her emotions out and just cry until her head hurts, literally! When I cry, I get a headache and it stinks to the core but I can't just keep my emotions in, I have to let it all out! After I cry, I will listen to music or write out my feelings which is better for me anyways!! When I write in my journal, I feel much better and I love to write out my feelings! Journaling helps me in a way and I'm glad that I do that! Journaling helps in a way which is a good thing! 

The things that I do to make me happy! Why do I do those things? 

What are things that I try to do to make myself happy when after I lost a loved one? When I lost a loved one, all I can think about how are my other loved ones doing? Are they doing okay? Just stuff like that! When I loose a love one or when I went through a break up, the things that I did that made me happy was listening to music, write in my journal, watching YouTube videos, and making my bed! Before, I didn't care if my bed was made or not but now, I care about making my bed because I think it looks nice when it is made and I love it a lot! When I listen to music or watch YouTube or how my great nieces and great nephew calls it "Doo Doo", I feel at ease and I feel so much better! When I write in my journal, I feel much better when I write down my feelings! I rather write down how am I feeling than keep everything in! I feel much better to write all my feelings because if I write down my feelings, then I am writing down my feelings and showing my vulnerable side than not showing my vulnerable side! Why do I do those things? The reason why I do those things is because those things help me get through a hard time and when I listen to music like BTS, I feel at ease and I feel better! When I make my bed, I feel better and happy when it is clean! These type of things make me happy! Call me weird but I don't care because I am going  to do me and I'm proud of being me! I rather do things that make me happy than sit in my bed and cry all day long! Just saying! 

My advice/ Why would I give that advice to my Blogger Dreamers?  

If I have any advice about loosing a love one or even a pet or even a friend, what is my advice? If you are going through a hard time of a loved one or a friend or boyfriend or girlfriend broke heart and you are grieving over that relationship, here is my advice: For the loosing a family member, a pet, or friend, if your friend past away or even a family member or a pet, just know that they are always with you no matter what! They are your guardian angel and they are looking over you to make sure that you are okay! You are never alone and they will always love you no matter what! For when a friend or a girlfriend or even a boyfriends calls off a relationship, and you are grieving over that, just know that you are much better without them! They are not worth your tears because if you are crying over them, then it is hurting you much as them because it shows that they don't care about you and they will never care about you which in reality, it hurts but the truth hurts though! Am I right? There is so many people who will be there for you and who will care about you no matter what! You just have to find the right people who will be there for you no matter what! Why would I give that advice to my Blogger Dreamers? The reason why I would give that advice to my Blogger Dreamers is because when you loose a loved one, hurts and all you want to do is cry and cry but everyone needs to realize that they are not hurting anymore and they are happy and not only that, if you go through a friendship break up or a relationship break up, you are much better without that person! You don't need that person in your life who might be toxic in your life! You are an amazing person and plus, you have angels who are looking out for you! I know that I do! 

In conclusion/ Tip of the day/ Question of the day? 

In conclusion, going through the grieving process can be a difficult time because you feel like you have no one or no one isn't there for you and it is hard for you! When a friend calls off a friendship, that hurts a lot! I almost had to go through that and just thinking about it right now makes me want to cry but I'm glad that me and my friend didn't have to go through that but I did block him for 10 days because he was being mean but we are good now! When you go through a break up, that is a grieving process within itself because all you want to do is cry and never forget those memories but in my case, after finding out that he cheated on me, I was done and over with it! I wasn't going to grieve over something that I can already move on from it! Loosing a loved one is so hard but they are your guardian angels and they are going to look over you and protect you through your hardest times! They are always going to love you no matter what! Here is my tip and question of the day?! My tip of the day is always love your friends, family, and even your pets no matter what! If you are grieving over a friendship breakup or a breakup in general, just know that person isn't worth your tears! My Blogger Dreamers are amazing and don't you ever forget that! My question of the day is when you think about the word "grief"? Why does it come to your mind like that? Sound off in the comments down below and comment down below! Please! I would love to read y'all's comments! I love y'all so much! 

Alright, my Blogger Dreamers! Y'all know what time it is! That's right! Y'all have reached the end of today's blog episode! I hope y'all enjoyed today's blog episode! Just know that your loved ones are always with you no matter what! They are always watching over you to make sure that you are doing okay! I know that I have my angels protecting me! My quote of the day is: "Kindness begins with the understanding that we all struggle". -Charles Glassman. I love this quote a lot because if you are kind to other people, they are going to be kind to you back! If you are struggling, someone is going to help you no matter what! There is someone understands you very well and they are going to be there for you no matter what! I hope everyone stays safe and stay hydrated! Never forget our slogan here on the Blogger Dreamers: "Dream big! Don't give up on your dreams"!! I love y'all and I will see y'all on Wednesday where I will talk about the word "Friendship". I love y'all and see y'all on Wednesday! Your Blogger Queen is out! Peace! 💜💖💜

Quote of the day! I love this quote a lot!! 

"Grief never ends... But 
it changes. It's a passage, 
not a place to stay. Grief is 
not a sign of weakness, nor 
a lack of faith... It is the 
price of love."
-Unknown. I love this quote because never ends but I know in my heart that my loved ones who I love so much don't want to see me crying because they are gone! They rather see me happy and smiling than see me heartbroken! 

"My world is spinning 
out of control. 
Life is moving 
forward yet I am stuck
in the moment when 
you left me."
-Sandra 
Heavensbook Angels. I love this quote because when I had loved ones left me, I felt like everything was moving forward, but when my loved ones left me, I felt stuck because it hurts to know that my loved ones left me but I feel stuck because I feel sad. 

"Grief is the last act 
of love we have to give to 
those we loved. Where 
there is deep grief, there 
was great love."
-Unknown. I love this quote so much because we can show how much we love our love ones by remembering them by their memories of them and not forgetting about them. Their memory lives on forever! 

For this week's song of the week, I choose "For Youth" because I love this song so much and it holds a special place in my heart forever! I will forever listen to this song and think about my friends who has been there for me which only has been a few of them!